Friendship Break-ups! Harder then Romantic break-ups? Y/N I Want To Hear What You Have To Say On This Topic.
Some of you may disagree but I honestly think they are worse then romantic break ups. I find they always end up a lot more, well, messy!
I recently went through my own friendship divorce and unfortunately it wasn't the simple this is yours this is mine kind of ending I would have liked. Shit got messy real quick.
I'm the type of person that if I'm with you, friends with you, related to you or simply just acquaintances with you, I will give you 150% it's all or nothing with me. I have a big heart and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve assuming I can save the world or anyone in need. Even though I've been burnt a million and one times ill continue to be that way because that's how my parents raised me, I have two amazingly selfless parents. Obviously being this way has its perks but the main downfall is how much it hurts if things go south.
As I sat here reflecting last night, the stages started going threw my head.
- First the anger.
- The blame game
- The was it me
- The hurt
- The self loathing, and finally
- The acceptance
I'm a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason" even down to the smallest of things.
We never stop learning and even the most painful situations leave us with knowledge. I could throw every cliche' out there about how "time heals all wounds" but lets keep it real for a second in the heat of the moment and a few days maybe even a few weeks later we are still bitter as fuck and all that quote, cliche' life lessons shit goes out the window and all we want to do is rip someones head off or crawl under the blankets and disappear until the pain goes away.
Now when you break up with a "Lover" after you also reflect on all the above you end up with the conclusion that it wasn't meant to be and that there is Plenty of fish in the sea. You cry a little, you eat a bit or ALOT of chocolate then go out with you're Girls and end up drinking one too many vodkas, blasting your favourite girl anthem on the way home singing at the top of your lungs, wake up the next day with a massive migraine reminding yourself that if he/she was 'the one' it would have worked.
With a friendship breakup, its not about oh they weren't my future life partner, its time to move on. Its the questioning why you weren't good enough, how could you open yourself up to tell them your deepest and darkest secrets just for them to take that information and potentially hurt others or yourself with that information out of spite. Of course not all situations are the same and some friendships you cant wait to have that quick out. But most friendships, and I'm talking that BEST friend kinda friendship, they know everything. There are things you cant tell anyone else not you're partner not you're family just that one best friend. When that lover breaks you're heart it's them you turn to, when you're having a bad day they are the ones you text, when you're partner is driving you mental its you're best friend you ask for advice even if its just to ask am I cray cray. So when that friendship ends unexpectedly and so horribly messy leaving you questioning every day, month, years you spent with that person not to mention the other friendships you didn't put enough time into because you're time was occupied planning you're future life adventures with someone who never planned to be there with you to begin with.
Of Course then there is the exception that fucks you up in a whole new way, When you're Lover is you're best friend but that right there is a different ball game all together and that shit shouldn't be ending at all!
Curious to see what you all think, which one has been harder for you guys to move on from?
Before I go just need to add, irregardless of the type of breakup its going to hurt like hell but I promise it really does get easier in time, take the lesson learnt from that situation and use it to better yourself, WE NEVER STOP GROWING. Also know you're self worth, don't let no one, friend or lover ever make you doubt that or forget that.